I stayed in an unhappy marriage for a few years. In hindsight, it was not a good idea for all involved including the kids. Divorce is scary though hence we always use the excuse of staying for the kids but the reality for me anyway was that I was scared to deal with the uncertainty and disruption that comes along with divorce.

In the end though, I had to bite the bullet. Nobody benefits from an unhappy marriage, least of all the kids

Better to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home!

On 2020-05-19 18:38:22 MikeHunt said:
How many of the people on this forum stay in an unhappy marriage because of their kids ?

I'm sure many!

Advice from another doctor (Dr John Bergman) is the following:

Treat her as if you were madly in love for 90 days.
Spoil her.
Touch her.
Whisper in her ear how sexy you think she is.
Tell her you love her.
Make love to her with passion.
Talk and I mean really talk to her.
Do everything you did when you first got together!
At first it may not be easy but persist and do not stop.

And after 90 days your relationship will either be over or blossom into true love again.


Isn't it worth a try!

xxxx


www.youtube.com/watch

I get what you saying Mike,
Many of us in unhappy marriage but the wife and I both stay in it for the kids. The wife is not a bad person but admitted in counselling that i try and she just does not want to.

She is in well cared environment and a good mother but not interested in me only what I can provide.

I'm told that a charade in which the wife impersonates a wg works wonders.

On 2020-05-19 18:38:22 MikeHunt said:
How many of the people on this forum stay in an unhappy marriage because of their kids ?

I don't think it's ever really "for their kids". Children are remarkably perceptive, especially to negative emotions. Its a sense that has evolved over millions of years and their brains are good at it. No matter how much you think you are pulling the wool over their eyes they will know the parents aren't happy.

Parents stay together for selfish, or financial reasons. It's NEVER about the kids despite the vociferous proclamations that it is.

My experience, when friends got divorced with young kids it affected the kids badly.
When I got divorced (amicably.. it IS possible) my 16 year old son asked what took us so long? When I quizzed him on it he said he could see we have been unhappy for years...shortly after we separated he told both of us how happy he was to see that we are now happy..
Depends on the kid and on how you do it. From the outset we were very careful not to involve him in disputes.
The final straw was realising (as an older person) that I would hate to spend the rest of my life with this person and perhaps grow to hate them. Rather be alone and happy than together and unhappy.
I had 4 very happy single years after that but have now found an awesome partner.