Sooo...

Dear Purple Pen Pals and Lovers,

As you all know, I sell explicit online content, I am literally on the internet in my birthday suit.

This truly doesn't usually bother me. I seem to be a lot more confident amongst strangers, than amongst familiars.

I ask myself:

"Self, how do you sleep at night knowing that someone has watched you self pleasure?"

Me to me: "With a full tummy and a roof over my head. Plus slightly aroused that someone is self pleasuring back to my videos and my nudes." *rolls over chuffed*

BUT these past few months I have had the strangest things happen...

I have had people from my childhood find me, purchase my content AND book me. I use the term people, because there has been more than one and their anonymity will forever be respected.

I was incredibly lonely and isolated at school. I got bullied for being trans and basically could count my friends on my hand and that's one hand.

I also have had more recent friends come and support my business, in more of the vanilla sense, which is really great. But also kind of weird because they've only know me as masculine, the others knew before I started transitioning at all.

Have you ever booked someone you knew personally or been booked by someone you knew?

How do you feel?

I'd love to hear your feedback!

In conclusion, this is a discussion AND

I still go to bed with a full tummy, a roof over my head, slightly aroused and incredibly grateful.

Back in 2002 I knew this girl well who I really liked and still do today. Her mom forced us to go out on a date around 2005. For personal reasons I wasn't looking for a relationship then and she most probably knew she could do better than me. Anyway we canceled the date, kept bumping into each other till I moved out of the area later that year. Lost contact but never forgotten.

2016... a good 10 years odd later, see this profile of a SP whom I like, she has great reviews etc. Decided to book, and off I went. When I saw her, I immediately recognized her, and she me. I was in shock and out of it for a good minute or so. When I realized what was going on around me, we somehow ended up in the room for the booking. For me it wasn't about the punt anymore, but to catch up with someone I really liked and respected. Someone who potential could have been my wife today if our timing was different. Saw her once again after that. My problem is that I will never be able to see her as just a SP. She will always be special to me. Even a good 20 year's later since I met her, much older, she is still as sexy as hell.

@Blade WM I love this... I can understand and respect that it will never be the same.

What if's can linger for a lifetime.

You had no idea prior to the booking, when you spoke over the phone, that it was the same lady?

I at least knew that the gentleman coming to see me was a childhood friend, who deliberately chose to book MD (he also missed a good 16years of my life). The best part was that it was in no way awkward. I just carried on as normal. But I was completely shocked that he had contacted me.

But the actual cringe for me was selling my content on multiple occasions to people I know from back then as well and then I start trailing off in my head. So I just do my evening mantra and get over it!