The other day I chose to read about bravery because I needed it. And now I know and understand this.

Bravery doesn't always look as glamorous as it is put. Being brave can come with lot's of humiliation however, not shame or guilt. I hate being humiliated, I hate it so much.... with a passion. But I mostly don't do anything because my instant reaction would be anger and fighting.


Story about a random girl:

The first time she walked into a hotel, her and her older sibling were asked to get everyone inside the elevator. They stood outside the machine which had 2 buttons outside as per usual. The younger sibling said to herself... "Oh f*ck!, she doesn't know how to do it!...please know how to do it because if you don't, these party poopers are going to ask me!!".

Of course.... older sister responded with "I don't know how". Then it came to her, She didn't even think the question, she just hit a button. I'm sure she looked very confident although the parents knew she had no idea what she was doing. It turns out that's all she had to do- Doing something/starting was the best right thing to do to get moving. She was brave.

When I was 15, my parents took me and my younger siblings for camping. We ended up by the gliding rope, just watching. Then my mum teasingly said "don't you want to try?". I was ready to humiliate myself, be brave and say "NO" but the little f*ckers said "YES!". So, now I had to do it-because "I'm not a coward". Did you know little kids can be ballsy and adrenaline junkies???.

We joined the line to glide and younger siblings backed out and left just before our turn. It was scary up there but "mama didn't raise no quitter!". I don't remember details of the gliding, just that when I got to the bottom I remember temporary blindness, walked towards the direction which I assumed my family was waiting and there were lots of tiny voices screaming something at me. It was the little angry kids asking me to "bring back their rope". Now that I'm recalling it, I made some people proud and I "looked brave". I also know they badly wanted to laugh. I know I wasn't brave and that was stupid of me to do.

Moral of the story: Are you "being brave" or "looking brave"?. Whatever brave you choose, is it worth it?. Why are you doing it?. Is it taking you anywhere?. If you choose to fight, is it because you want to win or you want to "look like a winner"?.

Remember only to "be brave" by picking the right fight and humiliation.

Good morning.x