I imagine some women on this platform have been offered a sugar baby/ kept woman position and turned it down for the independence of this job.

What's the calculus in coming to the decision?

I imagine if you enjoy this job it's pretty simple you stay in the job.

I also imagine it's risky to rely on one possessive man.

What are the other factors you ladies considered?

I imagine that very few women would do this job with a guaranteed R60k a month with no strings attached.

So what are the strings that make being a kept woman unappealing?

I think for me it's the fact that you're now depending on this person for the 60 K every month and if they decide to cut you off then they've cut you off and now you've given this person control over your life and made changes that you're stuck with while they carry on merrily with their lives.

It's a risk I would be willing take because if the type of person I am. I am a risk taker

I've never been in a situation where I was given an allowance but I have been in a situation where I was a "kept woman" my bills were paid I would get what I needed most of the time and put up in a lovely apartment in umhlanga.

I turned this life down because the person watched me struggle looking for a job after graduating varsity when I 100% knew he had all the power in the world to help me start a business which I would hint to him every now and again . And sitting in expensive cars drinking champagne and living in umhlanga wasn't enough for me .

I then chose to move to jhb to look for a job and because of this loss of control over my life he broke it off.

But the point I'm making here is "control"

Most guys want to be able to control you and once they think they can't d ok that you are cut off - and obviously when you're an independent lady or have something to fall on the dynamics become a lot better in my opinion

I also saw this with a friends sister.

She had a 50k allowance and was a proper sugar baby - taken out for expensive lunches living the best life but then the wife found out and the guy didn't hesitate to cut her off as per the wife's request.

Her sister (my friend ) also told her several times to save some money because anything can happen in these sugar baby instances - he could meet someone else he prefers or even just decide you're not worth it anymore . And the sister didn't listen to her advice and ended up stuck and in debt because she could not maintain her lifestyle or apartment and had quit her job because she would travel with the guy .

A late friend of mine was a sugarbabe. The amount was nowhere near R50k per month. The relationship was very demanding. Sometimes we planned a girls' night out and we'd be out and she has to cancel or she had to leave to see to whatever he wanted. He wasn't married but was seeing someone. I cannot say here what line of sport he's into,but it's an expensive one. So he generally mixes with that kinda people. He paid rent, her kid's school fees and she got an allowance per week. When she did his grocery shopping, she could take some stuff for herself as well She did all his running around during the week and weekends was supposed to be her time. Well it was, kinda, till he wanted her. The difference between her and the other woman was that she was at his beck and call 24/7. She had no life. Probably not too hectic a price to pay for what she got but I saw her bubbly larger than life personality shrivel. I dunno if it was him or because of the cancer (she didn't know she had cancer till a couple of months before she died). He paid for all funeral expenses and he had taken a policy for her and it was paid out to her kids. I felt sorry for him when she died cos he couldn't really mourn as one would mourn a lover.
I also saw a case where it worked out very well. The only thing was this young lady had dreams of getting married, raising a family, etc and it wasn't gonna happen if she kept the sugardaddy.

Reading what Nadia posted I think every sugar experience is different and this is all dependent on what the "sugar daddy" offers and expects from the sugar baby .

It must be a mutual agreement of give and take where both are happy and comfortable with whatever agreement has been made

The important factor for me would be whether it is worth my time money wise and regarding what is expected of me and worth the risk to give up my life to please that one person

Thanks ladies interesting perspectives

I would hate being controlled and I'd hate to control someone.

Personally as a punter it's more fun to have no obligations. Several lovers vs one. Flexible cash spend with WGs whereas a kept lady is another overhead (with fixed spend) like a bond but you can't sell the house at the end.

Also I know nothing of my favourite WGs. Maybe I know how many kids she has or where she's from but that's it. They know nothing about me. I love this it's clean.

With a kept lady I've got to listen to her woes and be emotionally available etc she knows my name, where I work, how much I make or have etc. it starts to get messy.

I once supported a lady for a while and then she cried me a sob story about an ex boyfriend who needed cash and he has a gun and she's scared of him etc etc. What in good fuck am I gonna do to a guy with a gun? I bought her a ticket to KZN and told her to lay low with her kid.

Interesting indeed. From my experience as a man, it is not a good arrangement or life to live if you are not financially stable. You must be really really financially stable, like being a sport person or having a really good business.

And as for the ladies, it is best to have plan B because the arrangement can come to an end without notice.

So this is a perfect place to be because it doesn't require a big budget and it has no commitment or obligation.

On 2022-03-28 12:25:33 OneNightOnlyTwo said:


I once supported a lady for a while and then she cried me a sob story about an ex boyfriend who needed cash and he has a gun and she's scared of him etc etc. What in good fuck am I gonna do to a guy with a gun? I bought her a ticket to KZN and told her to lay low with her kid.

At least you managed to walk away. I am kinda stuck at the moment and I am working on a plan to walk away.

It is not a good arrangement to be in if you are not financially stable and also the commitment is just too much....

Being kept is just what it says ..being kept;)

They will keep you away from family, friends, dreams, oppertunities,possibly even your forever after person..

Making a choice to become the kept women should not be done lightly, there is rarely a future in it, it hardly ever has happy endings and someone always ends up loosing.

Being a SP is a lot less messy;) multiple lovers , steady income( if you treat it like a normal business and make sure you reach targets) independence and most importantly.. you ain't indebted to anyone, emotionally physically or financially;)

I have very successful retainer contracts with clients.. and even those contracts have a buy out option should they half way through decide it ain't working.;) It just keeps things neat and uncomplicated.