You can be married and lonely too..

Even the Good Lord Himself opted not to hang around too long

@ the OP and danwest.

I've been there, done that got the t-shirt....

Trust me on this one. When you are in, what I call the "hole"

All you see is the hole! And the more you fight the "hole" the deeper it gets, and the more trapped you feel.

That's the bad news.

Here's the good news...
There is help!
I was lucky, I met this amazing person, a professional life coach, she literally saved my life.

If you want to, send me a DM, I'll try and trace her, and possibly put you in touch with her.

To anyone reading this. Never underestimate the seriousness of depression/loneliness. Its a visious killer, but it can be beaten.

On 2023-12-27 09:51:28 majorjohn said:
On 2023-12-27 09:33:27 Arhwen said: You can never be lonely if you love the person you are alone with. Happiness is a inside job.

Absolutely true.

Also you can be with someone yet be utterly alone.

100%

On 2023-12-27 10:26:47 Russian Bridgitte said:
Dearest Modestlover

Being a single parent is not an easy task. And I think comes easier to women in general than men. It takes huge shoulders, resourcefulness, an abundance of sacrifice (make peace with it) and a totally different outlook and approach going fwd. I am sure many shall give you advise as to what is best.
It is good to listen as it may help you put things into perspective and I am sure you will be able to sift through the "shit" and the "help".

The infidelity must be painful on its own and an issue to be dealt with without dwelling too much on it for the wrong reasons.

It seems it is a fresh wound and still needs to be processed. Even if not, the scars do leave a ripple effect on one going fwd and being cynical about many things between woman and man.

Just to remember no woman or man is the same and, what one woman may bring out in you another might not. ...good or bad. Thus don't paint every woman with the same brush .

Time does its thing. It either heals or makes one more cynical and thus feeling a deeper loneliness.

In general there is that lonely feeling in societies, simply because of the world we live in at present. Many feeling alienated from self and are asking those personal deep questions ....which multiplies your struggle at present and anybody else's too .

Find your feet again.


It will not be easy.

It will feel as if the world is falling apart especially coming out of a relationship that has left you questioning many things...especially relationships.

Make use of EVERY positive resource at your disposal from friends (supportive sort and not the ones waiting to verbally bash your ex), family, change of infrastructure as to nannies, transport etc.

Focus on your life. And once you know your life, boundaries, new values and anything that comes your way then, only then think of partnerships and the like.

Will that help with the loneliness? We all feel lonely at some time or other in our lives. It is a human trait .

What one must not do is make it ones "friend ".

Sometimes putting oneself out there may be the hardest thing but, the effort is worthwhile. Someone else's smile does know to leave a smile on one's face and a positive gait in one's step....if nothing else, and that is how it starts.

May 2024 bring clarity and treat you with kid gloves and shower your with strength immeasurable.


As to happiness.. yes there is happiness but I think we have inflated it into something unrealistic as we have done with "what is love" and then think it does not exist.

We ask too much of happiness and love because we are so far removed from self and thus question it even if it slapped us in the face.


Quick physical recovery I wish you.


RB

Miss RB
Articulate as always.
Thanks for your advice, response & well wishers.