Just go to the vending machine, throw some simba peanuts down your throat and get to me as fast as possible.

Studies show that a grown man only needs about 220 calories worth of energy to enjoy an appointment with me .

You probably don't even need the calories.

Further studies show that when I'm just standing there naked, you're more likely to forget the "hangry" altogether .

I'm so distracting that you'll be happy.

Because you won't be overthinking.

You'll just be lying there in complete bliss wondering why you were even hangry in the first place.

I bring the pleasure.
I bring the A Service
And I'm a Ten.

And i think that's actually all you need.

Love,
Julia