Tried to post here, but system message came up saying I had used banned names, letters...

Proof read my post, offending name letters removed but still not allowed.

What gives?

We get an email report when someone tries to use a banned word. I'm checking for you now...

*** REPOST OF GARY_G'S MESSAGE - NOT BY ESA ***

Spartacus,



Glad you were amused by my comments on your old post. Since you found it so amusing, let me repost it here for those who didn't see it the first time:



__________________________________________________________



Spartacus,



I think enough people have posted in reply to this thread at a direct level for you to have some insight into opinions that differ from those you expressed. What caught my attention with your post, though, were the subconscious projections about yourself that you make.



When someone makes an unsolicited rant like yours, they are often expressions of subconscious fears (and often fears that are threatening to break through into the conscious) about themselves that they project onto others.



Now you have given us so much material to work with, Ill have to limit this a bit. You give us the real or fantasy picture of yourself as someone who is not married, and not in a serious long-term relationship. You write:



If I were to pay for it (yes it is almost contradictory but really punting is not my style i love the thrill of the chase and sex is a benefit),



This seems to indicate an avoidance of both intimacy (you dont want to have a relationship, you want to have a successful chase) and sexual enjoyment for its own sake (in punting the sex is guaranteed, and for most heterosexual men seeking casual sex, the sex is the object, not a benefit).



You go on to write:



Andrea would be the most likely wg that I would go to simply because she is the only one who actually displayed some semblance of intelligence and rationality in her postings and she looks way more sexier in her pics...



Please notice how you use an adult voice to express your admiration for Andreas intellect, but revert to a child-like voice (she looks way more sexier in her pics) to express your feelings about her sexual attractiveness. Once again, you express ambivalence about actual sexual activity.



Your take on married punters:



if your wife doesnt fuck you the way you like to get it on the other side either get her to do it that way or leave her and find someone who does, you never know you may not be performing up to scratch on her standards either....



Notice the Freudian slip of the way you like to get it on the other side. The other side of what, Spartacus? Given your later take on anal sex, it does give one pause. But further, your entire take on married life and punting centres around either fears of not getting what you need sexually, or in being rejected as an inadequate partner sexually.



Your comment on compliments contains the illuminating quote:



I keep trying to understand what extra its to going get you? [sic]



What you are saying is that you cant understand how a purely sexually oriented encounter could inspire such compliments. For you, it has to be insincere (blowing smoke up the ass...oh dear, there's that reference to ass again); in your mindset, a genuine compliment would be inconceivable. It is again a measure of your perceived inadequacy that you could not imagine yourself being so overwhelmed emotionally by a woman through a physical encounter.



Now we come to your take on anal sex. When challenged on your opinion, you conceded that there could be reasons to enjoy anal sex other than gay tendencies, no offence, but insisted that gay tendencies had to be included in the reasons to enjoy anal sex.



That insistence speaks volumes about your sexual perception of yourself. Even the nickname that you chose for yourself on this forum hints at latent homosexual tendencies in current popular culture perceptions.



I have enjoyed many of your postings, while not agreeing with all of them. This one, however, should have been thought about more carefully, because its purpose is self-communication, rather than communication with others on the forum. I hope this gives you some food for thought.



Anyway, good luck with your Masters, if in fact that does exist.



___________________________________________________________



So let's take a look at this post, and see how you've come along:



On point one, you say you stand by what you said: 'Guys who punt behind their wives backs need to divorce their wives as a matter of urgency, if your wife doesnt fuck you the way you like to get it on the other side either get her to do it that way or leave her and find someone who does, you never know you may not be performing up to scratch on her standards either....', but then say in this post: 'but at the same time you cant judge others until you have walked a mile in their shoes, I for one hope that I dont cheat on the woman I marry.'



I would venture to say that you must have had either an emotionally or actually absent father, and your visits here are a subconscious effort to understand your father's absence from your emotional life. The punting community substitutes as a male presence, and you subordinate yourself to a child position by telling us you are a non-punter. The usage of 'I for one' shows that there is subconsciously a conflict within you as to how you might act in a marriage, due to your emotional ambivalence about your father. Most people unconflicted in this regard would have said something like, 'I hope I never feel the need to cheat...' rather than the 'I for one' formation, which indicates that subconsciously there is more than one possible attitude in this regard.



That brings us to point two: prostitution as a purely business transaction requiring no compliments. Now even given your supposed status as a student (I'm still not quite convinced...), it is only common sense to know that business relationships are very often built on a mutual respect and friendship, and successful business relationships often lead to genuine friendships outside of the business relationship. Again, the absent father figure theory works well here: you cannot understand your father being emotionally absent for a female presence (either abandonment before birth, or for another woman later on, or through your mother divorcing your father over infidelity), and therefore your obsession with the sex for money world of prostitution, and your horror that some might actually find affection and friendship with those with whom they enjoy physical relationships in this 'world'. I also detect here a whiff of emotional ambivalence towards your mother, who you must blame
at a certain level for your own emotional abandonment.



Which brings us to point 3: without going into great detail, I did note your saying 'different strokes for different folks gotta respect that i still wont do it though' which can be punctuated as '...different folks - gotta respect that. I still won't do it though.' or, more interestingly, '...different folks. 'Gotta respect that I still won't do it , though.' The use of the word 'won't' (will not) is interesting here, since most people would say, I still wouldnt (would not) want to do it myself; it is as if there is a conflict inside you about potentially engaging in 'gay' activity. Perhaps the absent father figure becomes a figure of misplaced oedipal desire at a subconscious level, and, with the alternative punctuation, a cry for approval at resisting that subconscious urge.



That brings us to point 4; and I fear that you might have unresolved misogynist tendencies, and whether the song is any good or not, the sentiment expressed is misogynist, period. I can't really tell at this point whether you have suppressed anger towards your mother, blaming her for your emotional abandonment, or whether this is an expression of misplaced oedipal rivalry for the attention of the absent father figure, or both.



Onto point five: deregistering from the site is a bit extreme: if you don't like what is being said on the forum, don't log on. This kind of public display of 'I want to go home now' childishness may have more to do with some subconscious projections with Ed and she who cannot be mentioned (or your post is rejected!), as male/female figures of prominence on the forum. It is also indicative that a phase in your life may be coming to an end, and this provided an excuse for you to announce it to yourself.



Which brings us to point 6, and this also leads to a conclusion that things are changing in your life; you are now willing to explore the idea of moving from your self-created child position, and to take part in the activities of the substitute father figure construct that you have created here. Certainly Andrea will challenge your perceptions on not complimenting a woman in a purely business relationship; Andrea is one of the most interesting and likeable people I have met in this industry.



As to the BTW at the end, sadly, when people say things like, 'I have to say' or 'to tell the truth', it's usually a sign of the opposite. If you are really a grad student, this may be a way of prolonging your time as a 'child', and not getting out in the real world and having to function fully as an adult, which would bring to the surface some unresolved issues, so I would expect you may have some difficulty in finally completing your topic.



So, I hope this also provides you with some things to think about, (as well as perhaps some comic relief) and I am glad you may well be finished with this phase of your life. Go well, forgive those in your past who need forgiving, and enjoy, as we say here, 'all the good things life has to offer'. If you do go and visit Andrea, I hope you temporaily rescind your deregistration long enough to tell us about your experience.

Thanks for sorting it out,

Gary