I gifted my beloved daughter a generous dose of bi-polar. We pay millions for bloodlines in animals but in humans we choose not to think about what came and flowed on in our DNA.

She is 30 now and has learned coping skills to supplement meds which is also a constant struggle to keep the mix right. She is wonderful but it's hard work for her.

I know it's not anything I could have avoided while still having kids, but through the cycles of my own shit the guilt of knowing it's my blood that haunts her is specifically shit at times.

But I know in my brain- and reading these and having heard many other challenges folks go through reminds me again- that I am actually very very lucky. Then why do my heart not rest if I know it.

Sometimes we know we create our own crap, I wish I knew how to protect those around me from the contamination.

So my parenting challenge is one of irrational guilt. Go figure and if it makes sense to you - please explain it to my heart.

And reading about the warrior Victor purple-ites here makes my own seem so small. But it does not feel small to me, so it can only mean that your challenges must be beyond the red zone and no option to safe word out.
Respect to you!!!