Stommerik: Well said, it was almost as if I wrote it myself. To add... I've been told that sex is no longer needed/important.
So ja... there you go...

Ditto Mr shy guy V2

I'd promised myself that I would not punt in janworry (!) but 3 days into it I know I will punt because if I am lucky I will get some in February

Lot of reasons.. first time with your girl or wife is exciting,after a few times boring.. so with a wg its a chance you take, some are very yummy. Others not. But adrenalin is pumping. Also addiction. And stress reliever. Can go on and on........

Thanks for the feedback @Stommerik! I completely understand the things you mentioned. Helps me a lot to know the reasons behind it. I pass no judgement, I swear. Ander mense se boeke is duister, and one never knows all the circumstances in other people's lives/relationships/marriages, and we can never fully understand the reasons, so we have to right to judge. But I know I would be devastated if I found out this was happening behind my back, so it helps to know how to prevent it.

The bf and I have been together for just over 5 years now, not married yet. Still not sure if I'm lucky or unlucky in that regard. :D I think I'm safe for now though. I'm 35, basically middle-aged, but genes have been kind to me. I look 10 years younger than I actually am, and I have the body of a 20 year old. Boyfriend is lucky in the sense that I've always been extremely sexual, and I love exploring my sexuality. He has always reaped the benefits of this adventurous side of me.

We did hit a rocky patch a while back when I recently lost a very close loved one, and with that, the will to live. I let myself go, stopped caring about myself, or anything for that matter, and sex wasn't even an option. That thing inside me, that part that was the catalyst for my sex drive was gone. Vanished. He didn't understand. He saw my lack of interest in anything, as a rejection of him. So in addition to feeling dead the whole time, I was made to feel like a shitty girlfriend also. So in some cases, there could be other reasons for a sexual detachment as well. Not always, but sometimes there are deeper reasons for it. Sometimes it would also help us if men understood that we aren't hardwired like you. We aren't ruled by our genitalia, it's more of an extension of our emotional wellbeing. When one part shuts down, everything shuts down. Estrogen and hormones, everything comes into play, especially when we get older. And if we are forced to ignore these changes and feelings to please you, it can very easily lead to us feeling like we're no more than a few fun holes to you, like an object rather than a person, and this leads to resentment. I'm not defending your wife at all, just trying to explain some of the things we feel when your hubs pressures you into sex when you have nothing to give. Just a different perspective.

Luckily I got the thing back, and the sex drive is in overdrive, so I've gotten myself back to where I was. Actually it's so much better now. When I started glueing myself back together, dieting got me back to my perfect weight, and I spend way too much money on physical upkeep (hair, nails, tanning, etc), but at least I know he has something to look at at home, and it keeps him from searching for something else to try to poke outside the home.

For now I'm aware that even though he is perfectly happy with only one pussy, because I always keep it interesting, I also get that men sometimes need a little variety. So I'm here to find him a few more. And because I get to watch (my thing lol), we both get something out of it. Eliminates the need for cheating, and keeps the bedroom interesting. It's just sex, and when he's done, we still come home together, and he's all mine.

But in 15 years, hormonal changes might put me where your wife is now. As least I got the warning now. I know what the dangers are, and what to avoid. Your words will stay with me, and I'll always know what not to do if I want to keep his attention on me. Thanks Stommerik! :)

Ruby if only you could talk to my wife

Because I've got these two things called testicles which keep filling up beyond my control. Therefore they need emptying. It's purely physiological.

Miss Ruby

I remember when the Tiger Woods scandal broke out, a colleague of mine at the time couldn't fathom how this could happen. If I had a supermodel as my wife, there's no way I would even think of another woman he claimed. He further went on to elaborate on how he'd treat her like a queen and make sure she's forever his and so on and so forth. My response to him was that it's easy to dream of how perfect your life would be if you had a supermodel, that is until you actually have a supermodel as your wife. In a way, I perfectly understood why he felt the way he did, he was single and struggling to get a girlfriend, under those circumstances, when getting any girl to pay attention to you is an achievement, bagging a supermodel must be the stuff of legend. I also understood Tiger and could empathize. For at some point or another in my life, I have been both these guys. No I've never had a supermodel, but my wife is no slouch, she certainly gets a tick for most of the checks mentioned on this thread of what a wife should do. Sex on tap, working out and body in great shape, we get along as friends and so on and so forth. So why do I stray you ask, and could she have done anything to prevent it?

The short answer is no, there's nothing she could have done to prevent this. It's not politically correct and perhaps not the kind of answer that most girls in committed relationships want to hear, but it's true. It's true for me, and I'd venture to say it's true for the vast majority of guys out there based on what I've observed. I tried, I really really tried to live up to the one woman ideal but in the end I just couldn't do it anymore, I was too frustrated and it had a negative effect in all other areas of my life. You see any many ways, we are just grown kids. Like kids, we'll dream and fantasize about that one toy we don't have and obsess about it up until we get it. Then we enjoy it for a while and bask in the glory of having obtained it. Then sooner or later it's time to go on the hunt again, it's just the way things are. Other kids who still fantasize about that toy we've already acquired can't understand why we not satisfied, that is up until they get it as well and see for themselves.

@Blaza. Agree with a lot what you say. There is also this saying: Show me a gorgeous woman, and i will show you a guy tired of fucking her.... Really unfair, but probably true in many many instances.

@Ruby. You sound like such an interesting & sexy woman - hope your guy appreciates you! I understand that we are just anonomously sharing ideas/perceptions and that nobody is judging anybody. This is the beauty of it all as it allows so much honesty...

Must say i felt relieved after writing this. So you are my shrink! LoL!
But in truth, and i guess true for many guys, i often think that when i get my releases at WGs or MGs, i am so much nicer person to be around and at home. When i dont get it, i get so frustrated and take it out on people close to...(another bad justification for punting).

Finally they say that men give love for sex, and (most) women sex for love. Very true i think.... Within this sentence a lot of the discussion is captured.

For further insight into these issues, I found the below article very informative

www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/magazine/infidelity-will-keep-us-together.html

Esther Perel's TED talk is also quite informative

www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved

Evolutionary Psychology tries to deal with the why's of our behaviours. It's not an exact science and is far from perfect but there's a lot of insight and some of it has strong empirical support. Matt Ridley's The Red Queen is a good primer on the topic of sexuality from an EP point of view, the later chapters in particular deal with human sexuality in particular and why in general, men have a tendency towards promiscuity and why in general, women tend towards monogamy. Again, this is not perfect but a lot more insightful and grounded in reality then a lot of stuff that comes from the pulpits of this world