It's so important to have a good support system and if you don't there are so many resources available to help a person through depression. I'm very grateful as I could not have navigated through that crisis alone.

On 2022-03-30 12:35:06 Victoria said:
My son was bullied at school and I didn't know about it. He got depressed and withdrawn. It was a difficult time but thankfully with a lot of support from family and the school we got through it.

I have been through that, I was constantly targeted at school from pre school to high school until I dondered one of them then they left me alone.

Everyone has their own mountain to deal with.

I was widowered after a marraige of 24 years. Both our boys (then 17,14) were still in secondary school. It was an extremely challenging time, but a support system was put in place.
In highschool my eldest son was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. The three of us work through this painful time. He is still on medication. Both boys graduated from varsity (Pretoria) and live happily in there marraiges.
I tried my best to give them a safe haven and balanced life, although I acknowledged the fact that a man can't fullfill a mothers place. The three (5) actually of us have a good relationship. I am hesitant for a long-term relationship. Thank you for an interesting topic.

My toughest challenge was my stepson who was addicted to drugs. Over the years his drug of choice varied but he ended up on heroine.
The worst thing was when I walked into the Wendy one day and found him hanging there.
How to deal with his death? Time brings healing but you will never forget

:-((

Thanks for this thread. Great cause for reflection and a reminder to be kind as we know not what others face.

Strength to all facing challenges that seem insurmountable at present.

On 2022-03-30 21:50:22 Jdelray2 said:
Thanks for this thread. Great cause for reflection and a reminder to be kind as we know not what others face.

Strength to all facing challenges that seem insurmountable at present.

I second your opinion Jdelray2.

Thank u Arizona.

Okay my biggest challenge is having my son stay with his dad's aunt because I can't watch him full time as I have to work and study (LLB student) my parents couldn't look after him either because they are "busy" no matter how much I pleaded with them because apparently he's mine and I should figure him out ( which I understand) but I just feel like they are punishing me for having a child outside marriage at a young age... at first I was unemployed and had no choice than to give him up coz my parents insisted... I then couldn't see him for months due to distance and financial instability... but thankfully that's sorted now and I spend a week or more with him every month ... his dad will be taking him soon as well to stay with him ... I'm more at peace now ... I felt like I failed him and he'd grow up hating me, I cried to sleep most of the nights due to guilt , it ate me up

On 2022-03-31 09:02:50 Freya @ Sensual Spa said:
Okay my biggest challenge is having my son stay with his dad's aunt because I can't watch him full time as I have to work and study (LLB student) my parents couldn't look after him either because they are "busy" no matter how much I pleaded with them because apparently he's mine and I should figure him out ( which I understand) but I just feel like they are punishing me for having a child outside marriage at a young age... at first I was unemployed and had no choice than to give him up coz my parents insisted... I then couldn't see him for months due to distance and financial instability... but thankfully that's sorted now and I spend a week or more with him every month ... his dad will be taking him soon as well to stay with him ... I'm more at peace now ... I felt like I failed him and he'd grow up hating me, I cried to sleep most of the nights due to guilt , it ate me up

Shit sorry that's extremely tough. Glad you're studying and getting things sorted.

Don't be angry with your parents they have their own baggage. They feel their own guilt. Life is tough and young kids are very hard to look after.

On 2022-03-31 09:41:11 OneNightOnlyTwo said:
On 2022-03-31 09:02:50 Freya @ Sensual Spa said: Okay my biggest challenge is having my son stay with his dad's aunt because I can't watch him full time as I have to work and study (LLB student) my parents couldn't look after him either because they are "busy" no matter how much I pleaded with them because apparently he's mine and I should figure him out ( which I understand) but I just feel like
they are punishing me for having a child outside marriage at a young age... at first I was unemployed and had no choice than to give him up coz my parents insisted... I then couldn't see him for months due to distance and financial instability... but thankfully that's sorted now and I spend a week or more with him every month ... his dad will be taking him soon as well to stay with him ... I'm more at peace now ... I felt like I failed him and he'd grow up hating me, I cried to sleep most of the nights due to guilt , it ate me up

Shit sorry that's extremely tough. Glad you're studying and getting things sorted.

Don't be angry with your parents they have their own baggage. They feel their own guilt. Life is tough and young kids are very hard to look after.

Thank you

On 2022-03-30 00:39:13 Lesley said:
My toughest was a teenage son suffering from depression and being suicidal. I talk openly to him about it and let him know that I have felt what he feels and I know how hard it is. I said boy, all I ask is that you not feel ashamed of what you feel and that you come tell me when this feeling comes. I can't promise to relieve it but I can help you with perspective and to not let it overwhelm you.

To be honest I have not compartmentalised it mentally yet because it is an ongoing struggle that we deal with when the train arrives :)

I think as parents we face many problems, disappointments etc. But this is the pits for me because it is a life long disease for some.

I hear you Lesley!
My eldest has struggled with depression, anxiety and ADHD for many years. As a teenager he is now battling with gender identity.
As a parent with an history of years of depression and anxiety myself, there is a sense of genetic guilt. But through all of that, "he"? is emerging as a caring and kind adult. What more could I ask for?!