I'm not from here. In case none of y'all figured that one out yet.

In JHB, all I see are these MAJESTIC , exquisitely engineered works if art speeding by.

Maserati's. Lots of those .

I SAW A FREAKING BUGATTI AND A ROLLS ROYCE last week!

There are so many people in JHB with the most gorgeous, GORGEOUS cars.

I love it.

But alot of those cars are driven by people who drive like they really, REALLY feel like unaliving themselves on that particular morning.

And screw anyone in their path.

Now obviously I want each and every one of you to be as CALM AS POSSIBLE in your divine cars, because you are playing with BIG NUMBERS back at your office.

You cannot afford to have your Bentley's door replaced this afternoon because you pushed it to 279kph on a national highway , so you wouldn't be late for your meeting with Jeff Besos. At Vide E Cafe.

I also know that when your male reproductive equipment is BLUE, this can also make you drive your car a little crazy, because, well, your entire pelvic situation is BLUE.
And it hurts. And if Margot Robbie could just appear and put her face in your lap like RIGHT NOW, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

Here's the deal:

BLUE + STRESS = BAD

NAKED + JULIA= GOOD

I am a TEN.
I am a female.
I am an EXPERT at delivering CALM to men.

I am an expert in making male reproductive parts , those things that come in a pair , turn back to their natural colour.

I have the best body in JHB

I look so good naked , you will buy new lenses at Spec Savers because your cornea will rip, slightly, from downloading my beauty.

When your appointment with me is over you will be able to drive your car with ease.

You will be calm. Everything BELOW THE WAIST will not be blue anymore .

You will make lots of money at the office.

You may just fall in love with me.

Love,
Julia Ward