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[deleted] - Did I matter?
Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-06-07 09:24:05
Edited: 2017-06-07 09:43:16

Been struggling for a while with this question..or questions. My best friend sent me a video this morning putting everything I was struggling with (my thoughts) the last year or more into words...

Did I matter? Did I make the most of everyday..."Lived my life"...or did I just "Exist". Did I make an impact on anybody's life? Will anybody notice when I'm not around anymore?

I'm working on answers for these questions...but it is hard finding the answers "I want to hear"

Anyway...maybe someone else also had these questions bothering them.

Mini
Raksha
Raksha - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
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Posted: 2017-06-07 10:08:10

It's a tough world out there its getting harder everyday there's good and bad as long as you do what's right help where you can you'll be missed
[deleted]
[deleted] - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-06-07 10:50:16

Hey Mini,

Great question which may elicit responses from those fellow deep thinking individuals on this forum.

For me this evokes a very grey answer as I believe we seamlessly flow from one state to the other, from living to existing, from making differences in life's to being anonymous, and personally I am currently happy with being in this ebb and flow. Perhaps this is where your answer lies in that it is acceptable to be both where at times you matter in other people's life's and other times you matter only in your own. However it mustn't be forgotten that someone, somewhere WILL remember you and that memories eventually fade for everyone.

Well that's my take. Good luck with your struggle.
Se_kaas
Se_kaas - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
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Posted: 2017-06-07 11:22:19

On 2017-06-07 10:50:16 jaykay96 said:
Hey Mini,

Great question which may elicit responses from those fellow deep thinking individuals on this forum.

For me this evokes a very grey answer as I believe we seamlessly flow from one state to the other, from living to existing, from making differences in life's to being anonymous, and personally I am currently happy with being in this ebb and flow. Perhaps this is where your answer lies in that it is acceptable to be both where at times you matter in other people's life's and other times you matter only in your own. However it mustn't be forgotten that someone, somewhere WILL remember you and that memories eventually fade for everyone.

Well that's my take. Good luck with your struggle.




Good response and thoughts. I also feel I go thru these cycles of living and existing.

I've made my peace that not long after I'm dead, I'll be forgotten. Lost in history. Sometimes I wonder if I should settle down and have kids to continue my name but even then, 2 generations down the line I won't even be a thought in my imaginary great-grandkids lives.

The great conundrum of our existence. We all can't be remembered like great historical figures who made great impacts on history.

Being a punter maybe makes things worse. The reality being it being *just* a business transaction and that no matter how a WG makes you feel for that hour or two together, as soon as you leave you are forgotten.
[deleted]
[deleted] - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-06-07 12:00:32

[QUOTE;764468;Se_kaas
...........Being a punter maybe makes things worse. The reality being it being *just* a business transaction and that no matter how a WG makes you feel for that hour or two together, as soon as you leave you are forgotten. [/QUOTE]

Hey Muj. I'm not so sure on this point. Rather than seeing the punt as a mere business transaction I prefer to look at it in the same way I do the client/supplier relationships I have in my own life. A lot of them are merely just a transaction where I wouldn't notice the person in the street the following day, but some of them are now longstanding and successful business associations where we have a connection that stays beyond the job at hand. At the end of the day we all go home to our own individual life's but the connections are still there. And this is how I approach a punt, putting in the same energies as I do the other aspects of my life and I now count it as a Blessing to have a number of punting connections that go beyond the transaction and carry the same value in my life as any of the other prized business relationships I have.
A flawed outlook it may be but it allows me to be less cynical, or should I say less skeptical, when I leave the scene of the punt - successful or otherwise.



[deleted]
[deleted] - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-06-08 18:12:50

Mini

Those questions usually surface when we are reaching our twilight years. In our younger years we did not have the time to reflect on anything. Life was a whirlwind of wild activities guaranteed to exhaust you to the point of oblivion, leaving no time for reflection.

As we grow older and wiser, we feel the need to reflect back on our life and what we achieved. We are critical of ourselves, and self doubt is common between us oldies. For not all of us can be the President of SA, or the chairman of a multi-national corporation, or have a wife and three girlfriends, all at the same time. We are not all driving Ferraris or Porsches, and we don't all live in Houghton.

I have made peace with a lot of things in my life. The Ferrari turned into a SUV, the house got bigger as the family grew till it is now too big as the kids have left the coup. I certainly do not want to be the Pres of SA, and a national business has been trimmed to a local operation, due to being stubborn and not embracing crooked and greedy BEE partners. The three girlfriends at the same time never happened, in fact I punt because I am most probably not boyfriend material. Was called boring by one applicant, and the other one just disappeared. But I am at peace with myself.

For I believe that a life lived as an honest man, a hardworking man, someone that is not scared to stand up against perceived injustices, someone that loves his own more than life itself, someone willing to share and to give without expecting back, someone that tries his level best to the best friend he can be to others, someone that finds more joy in giving than receiving, someone that tries to see the best in others, someone of principle, someone of joy, a man for all seasons.

If you can tick a few of those boxes, you will be a man of substance. And others will see this. You don't always get the recognition, but in that lies another beauty. Don't expect it while you are with us. When you have left us, people will be telling tales of your acccomplishments.

More than a decade after my father passed away, I still hear people extolling his virtues. While he was alive, I thought he was a pretty ordinary man. Huge mistake. In the eyes of others, he was a giant of a man. I still feel the absolute loneliness of not having him look over my shoulder and pride himself for the man I hope I have become. His picture is on my desk, a stark reminder to be the best that I can be.

So in answer to your questions, live a full life. Be better every day. Smile, it always helps.

And yes Mini, I shall miss you one day. I have taken the piss from you on many occasions, and your great sense of humour always jumping to the fore. The self-deprecating jokes from your side, tells me a lot about yourself. A man that can laugh at himself is a man at peace with himself.

Cheers MR Mini, rest assured, you will be missed.

Amen
Kimmylee
Kimmylee - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
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Posted: 2017-06-08 21:59:21

Forever and ever....Amen!
[deleted]
[deleted] - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-06-20 07:52:59

Thanks everybody. I overthinked this hugely. The answer was there all along...just didn't want to see it maybe.
[deleted]
[deleted] - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
More than 100 posts
Posted: 2017-07-06 08:48:15

And now Mini has left....

Anyone knows why ?

BOOBS53
BOOBS53 - Re: Did I matter?
Re: Did I matter?
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Posted: 2017-07-06 08:51:42

I think he is busy with his 21 in secret ...

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