That's hectic. We live in a messed up society where appearances matter too much, where human nature is taboo. I'm sorry for your pain. This client/friend of yours may not be able to feel your compassion and pain for him, but he is still a lucky man to have it.

Very well said.

Well said. Very moving

Such a beautiful and sad post...

If it is any solace, the memories of encounters that have touched and moved us deeply often sustain us most in our hours of need, and none more so than the secret ones, whose very nature as secret make them all the more precious, undiluted as they are by having never been shared...

You are present with your friend, I am sure, in ways that will both ease his fears and nurture his strength in the worst of the days ahead. Although it is so difficult to be at a physical distance, from your description of how you feel about him, I believe you are always present with him in some way, intertwined at a deeply personal level. Smile a secret smile as you recall a touch, a caress, a look exchanged, a laugh shared, as I am sure he does when he thinks of you.

And another great loss of a precious friend!

RIP Congoboy!

My heart breaks for you my dear Arz.. I know how close you were to "Congoboy".... so many years given of yourself to be a dear friend to him.. always making his time with you priority. Sharing many highs and lows together.

I'm here for you my friend...
All my hugs and kisses
XOXOXO

In memory of another dear precious soul that has moved on!

For you Chas!

Arz

Arz, as you said - it is often about the friendship and not necessarily the act of sex ( though that is often nice)! Very sorry about your loss. Luv. A xxxxx

Ari...everything you said is so true. I've also lost a few clients over the years.
They all left a footprint...a faded memory that only arises when I read your story(mine to).
Yes they meant something to us.
They will never know how important they where to us.
Thank you for the clients that stood by me through good and bad times. Wish sometimes we could have returned a favor.
Blessings.

[QUOTE;654715;Arizona] Baring my soul as a service provider! Raw and Real!

I wonder if clients ever realize the impact they have on our lives. I have been in the industry for 18 years on and off. I have met so many amazing clients that I have become friends with, we don't just share intimacy, but we have also grown older together, sharing intimate moments of our personal lives. We have watched each others children grow up, nurtured our failures and celebrated our successes, in marriage, business and life. Through words, in the stories and conversations we have shared in our moments of escaping the real world. We have gone through trials and tribulations like a couple almost. But we get to share a life that is not public, yet hidden, but it is sooo much more personal than most stories. Its a love story of sorts.
And I have lost clients over the years to illness, accidents, farm murders, crime etc... death is a part of life! This I understand and I have made peace with it! These are clients that I have obviously built a level of trust with that we know personal names, shared personal information with each other so when things like this happen. If I get an sms or whatsapp from a family member informing me of their passing. Thank goodness we have shared enough information that when I get asked How did you know him? I can answer it legitimately, with an alibi, without ever disclosing the intimacy of the relationship. Its hard to hear of a client passing, and never knowing he was ill. The hardest is when a regular client you have been seeing for years just disappears without a trace. You eventually assume the worst, but there is no knowing. No closure. But it's even harder knowing he is ill and you have to step back and fade into the night. You cant be there to support him! And be there for him! I had a dear client last year who suffered a stroke. And the fact that you want to contact them and support them is so frustrating because we can't! We can't compromise your family! So we just step back and hope, pray and wait.... I cannot find the words to explain the emotional and mental torture that we go through and suffer.
So today, I am so very sad because a dear friend, that I have shared a lifetime of moments with over the last 18 years. A relationship that has lasted and sustained more than double the time my marriage did, told me he has been diagnosed with cancer. I can see the turmoil, devastation and fear of the unknown journey he is about to embark upon, and I feel helpless. Shattered! Broken and just wish I could be there to hold his hand and comfort him during this time. It saddens me so deeply to know that we have been friends for so long yet I have to hide in the shadows and can't be there for him in his time of need. I want to be there! I want to be a part of it as we have shared moments not many do, but yet I am a secret. I cannot disclose myself, in fear of exposing him and the secret relationship we have shared! This relationship behind this purple curtain. The feelings of helplessness are the same as your loved ones. Except they get to be there, they are informed daily of your progress, constantly updated... I wait with bated breathe to hear if you are ok, when you can find the time to sneak in a moment to let me know you are ok. Do you know I care as much as they do? Is my concern validated in ways as close as you appreciate theirs? Or was I just a passing, fleeting moment? Because for me its real! I do feel, I do care and I do worry!
You become family in a weird and wonderful way!
So to all the clients out there. Never assume you just walking through our lives without leaving a footprint! You do matter! Hope you take the time to appreciate that we do get attached even though we don't cross the line and might not say it!
Thank you for the memories you create with us, and for blessing us with the privilege of being able to share special moments with you, that we will forever treasure.

Arz

Thinking of you and missing you as I do every day, on this the 4th year of your passing my Congoboy! Salute!

And thinking of all those that we have lost this past year! May your souls soar high and know that you are dearly missed!

Arz