So was super horny yesterday and found myself getting off work early for a change - time to plan a visit to Tasha - FINALLY.

Open a beer, try connect to the internet - nothing - fuckall. Curse my fate, fiddle with the wires, clicky click some stuff, but my heart was just not in fixing it.

Open another beer and log into my phone internet. Nothing - Fuckall.

Make note to never buy another HTC ever again.

Have a moment of genius and realise that my phone has Tasha's number in it from the time before when I tried calling. Go through the list of dialed numbers and find (what I think may be) Tasha's number, open another beer because they taste really good and dial.

Lady answers the phone, and I ask 'Who is this? (cause I am not sure if the number is correct)'. 'Who are you looking for?', she replies. 'I was looking for Tasha, but no problem - are you available?'. 'Available for what?'. 'Do you do full house, or massage only?', I enquire. I nearly died when she replied 'Daniel is that you?'.... Bugger.

Make note to use punting phone for punting only - never again will it be used to phone a client....

Have another beer, internet still fucked so take a nap. Wake up, have another beer - internet is WORKING! Get Tasha's number and call! She answers!!!!

Dans lucky day!!! Tasha says something into the phone and then puts it down.... Call back; number busy. Nice. Tasha is like Jesus - while some people know that the person exists - I have never personally been touched. No hard feelings, still wanna visit her...

Have another beer. Realise that my I need to find somebody who is a) close to my house, and b) R500 (my ATM was maxed).

Call Delisa cause I think fucking here would be really nice, http://>www.esa.co.za/members/displayAdvertiser.php?uid=5869>, and a FUCKING MAN answers. Now ladies seriously? When I call I want to know what you will be wearing, if you will tickle my balls whilst you suck my cock, if I can spank your ass and call you a nauty little bitch. You cannot discuss this with another man....

Call a whole bunch of ladies, nothing. Call Delisa back and she answers; but she also wants R600, which is R100 more han what I have :( She sounds nice though and any feedback is appreciated.

Decide to go to DefCon5 - Chinese ladies. These yellow little people are well know to be cheap (so you can take a risk going with an unknown), and they will always see you - in this case it was already 22:30. Call up the house here, (ST search for Randpark Ridge) 076 017 2666, situated in Randpark Ridge, and arrange to meet ASAP at 6 Dale Lace at a cost of R350.

People who know me know that every time I see an Asian chick, I vow to never do it again. I usually get lost (SchozquKz!), kneed in the nuts, or just generally fucked around. At least this time I had a GPS and a solid address. No fucking problems anticpated. Yeah fucking right. Some town planner was a right funny fucker when he made Dale Lace road. It starts well, at number 2 where you would expect it to, but then goes straight to 610, then to 8, 10, 12 till it reaches around 999, and then goes stragiht back to 59. A reasonalbe person would expect that 6 was next to 8; a reasonalbe person would also understand the owners frustration when another lost cunt rings his doorbell at 23:00 looking for a shag :)

Anyway 6 is next to 199, and the lady was kind enought to send me text directions and wait outside. The key to enjoying chinese is to anticpate the associated quirks, and thus you will never be shocked:

Pull up to the house, lady waiting outside looks like a fisherman - old hag madame check. Nice big door blocks view from the road. Go into the house, random shit everywhere, and everything that looks like it can be slept on is covered with blankets. House covered in random shit - check. Go past the kitchen and note a big pot on stove; foul smelling pot of slop - check.

Get introduced to two ladies, something and ANNA. ANNA? How many chinese Anna's are there? I have so far fucked 4 Annas! There was the one who also used to be Mickey, then the one at Blue Sky, the one in Robin road and now this one? Decide to take both, but the fiserman will not go lower than R600 for both and I only have R500.... Take Anny. She looks nice, bit larger, fuckall English, foul teeth and she smelt like Garlic. Typing this I am wondering why the fuck I stayed :D

Remove clothes and ask: 'Can we start with a BlowJob'? She gives an enthusiastic nod - but just stands there. Awkward silence. 'Can we start today?'. Another nod. 'My your monkey has long arms for such a small body'. Another nod. 'Sucky, Sucky?'. Nod. 'Please?'. Nod. Nod. Nod. So there we were: two retards nodding at one another.... Decide to take the initiative and grab her small tit. She complains that it was too hard. Decide to lie down and see what happens.

She takes the hint, walks over and start sucking my balls. Nice! She then starts rubbing my ass, and sucking my shaft. Also nice. After about ten minutes of gently carressing my cock, balls and ass, she puts on a condom and fucks me really hard. Her body is slightly larger, but she really puts her back into it....

Cum, clean up and she offers me a massage. Reckon why not, better than nothing. She then proceeds to give me a good massage, better than some of the other ladies can do. After the massage, we fucked again, with her on top again.

All in all, it was R350 very well spent. Anna is not the hottest, and I did have 6 beers before going so that may have influenced my perspective. Sober who knows :D. The room is clean, although I did not use the other facilities....

Chinese ladies are hit and miss - I think that Anna was a hit, and for R350 it was a fun time....

@DAN,

I fucken loved reading that mate!!!! good laugh!!!

I like you, say EVERYTIME i am with an asian lady, NEVER again, but it comes that time, when you want a really cheap and very quick fuck and think there is nothing else, and they cleaner and better than a street whore!!!

Also amazing no matter where you go, which area, the places are all the same, they all have shit all over the place and random shit as well, it all smells like shit in there, and all the ladies smell of bad garlic!! Most of them cant speak a word of English, and give nothing more than an average shag!!!

My last asian fuck was a lady called Annie, not to far off, LOL.

hope you did not actually get court out for phoning your client, hope you made some excuse that you dialed the wrong number and was playing trying to play a joke on someone else.

Absolutely brilliant review...... i thoroughly enjoyed it.

Well done Dan :)

@ Dan,
Hillarious mate, well written.

this is a good read- but you guys need to punt up once in a while and go to tammy ts or see patty

'Nod. Nod. Nod. So there we were: two retards nodding at one another.... Decide to take the initiative and grab her small tit.'

'Me Tarzan.... You Jane'!Hahahahaha... This is the only image that comes to mind when reading this!

Some good asians @ Pammy's in Linden as well, sadly still no replacement for ' Diana-Sirens'

Your style couldn't be more different than mine but FUCK I love reading your reviews. Usually there are three types of reviews:

A) Very informative, succinct, and to the point.

B) Ones that are soppy and less useful(''as our loins moved in perfect unison anticipating the climax, our sweat drenched bodies were lost in a sea of euphoria'')

C) Lady X was the best fuck EVER! Woohooooo!!!


Your reviews however are riddled with comic relief and remain informative as well...

Keep it up!

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Lol this was a blast from the past :) Glad you guys liked it :)

Visited this place a quite a few times. Was there last night to see Mimi (Advertises on ST).

I'll make the review short & sweet.

I mostly visit WG's after a few drinks but yesterday the urge kicked in & it seems as though I may be finding myself on the P/E list sadly. Never had issues before... But yeah, whatever.

Their "madam" speaks fluent english. Venue is as mentioned above, street numbers are messed up, the gate will have 209 on it even though its number 6 but is very secure.

I never took time to notice names & skills on previous visits so I will not comment on the other girls.

Mimi will definetely excite you at first glance. Young, petite & killer looks. Pay my R350, get into the room. She takes off her top & those huge balloons I booked just deflate into thin air. Seems the bra was holding it together. Skin is top notch but has some tummy fat & I'm huge foot fetish fan but her toes were like stubs. Not disgusting or anything, just not interesting to me.

No GFE for the guys that's into that. Tried fingering her, she says no, outside stimulation only... Play with her clit a little. Slap on a flavoured condom & she gives me a decent blow. Not pornstar stuff but nice & deep (I'm just under 7 inches & she swallowed the whole thing). Cum once. Slap on another, she blows again, gets me a little hard and suggests missionary. Nailed her for a decent 10 - 15 mins. She moans & groans & fakes an orgasm eventually. I think.

I did ask for a massage when I called, so I hop onto my belly & in all fairness, she says she doesn't give good massages (She barely speaks english). I say its cool, go ahead & it was quite pathetic.

All in all, venue is decent, ladys are good looking but nothing over the top & I doubt you can go there with any wild fantasies. More like a drive thru joint.

For the price its worth it though. I would return at some point.

Ask if you have any questions.